Finding solutions...

Fights among friends and wars among bitter-foes are as common as oxygen in air. People fight all the time,and more often than not,for reasons that they don't seem to remember for long! So is there any sense in trying to solve this regular occurrence? Why do people try and solve conflicts between 2 common friends?

Well,starting out with the concept of a fight...Well,I guess fight's too strong a word to use,dispute is more like it(but longer!!)...Anyways these disputes occur for various reasons- misunderstanding, lack of communication, unsupportive acts, seemingly disloyal acts,changing affiliations,an angry act that triggers off a a sequence of other catastrophic events in the personal lives of the people concerned. I think I've covered it all...At least I've covered all that I think is worth talking about...

Now,apart from these people that fight,there's a second class of people...The mediators...Needless to say,these people are common friends to both parties involved and hence try to keep their relationship at an amicable level.This involves a lot of work! Some direct,some indirect,some manipulative,some hurting, but the purpose of these actions is finally to resolve the dispute..come what may!

Everyone falls in the 'fighters' category,and a chosen few into the 'mediator' category.Which makes it all the more difficult for others to see why these mediators even want to resolve a fight? I'm sure you've wondered at some time or the other why people intervene in fights between two people? Isn't it their private matter?

I'm happy for people who think this way...because they're wrong!

For a stranger to intervene in a dispute is indeed suspicious,but when a friend does this,there is nothing 'private' about it. The relation between the fighters goes to a large extent in determining their relations with other friends. And this is crucial to a mediator as he wants to make sure that everyone here is kept happy and misunderstanding is kept at bay.

So is there always a fair resolution of conflict? Do all parties involved always find a solution that they will all agree upon? Nope....Always? NO.. When a mediator gets to see both points of view,he may find one view more appealing/true
(whatever the case may be) than the other... This maybe because he is biased towards a certain close friend or feels that one is more 'moral' than the other...What I'm trying to arrive at is that,sometimes a fair solution is not possible.. But that's where the two fighters must pitch in!

One may have to make a bigger compromise than another in a fight.Funny thing is....that each fighter believes he/she made the bigger compromise.. So who's right? Who needs to apologise first? Who was wrong initially? Who made the bigger compromise? Who needs to be given more respect?

Does it even matter?? Goddammit...Finish the fight..Deal with it..Forget reasons and blame games and other trivial things. IF you think there's anything worth keeping the other party as a friend (think impartially here!),then do it...
Else,forget all of this and find some other friend. Period.

Keep the ego aside for a while and think about the necessity of this friendship to both you and the other party. You don't have to go the whole way,but you must cover some distance too!

Before I end this post,I'd like to leave you with this thought....
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step!"

Do it...