Chapter 13 Arising from the ashes

 

 

On our way back home the next day, I couldn’t shake the energy off my mind, I didn’t want to. I had wished to return to normalcy, but I had got more than I could bargain for. My thoughts had evolved manifold in the past 24 hours. I was raring to go home; I had plans to make, goals to set, places to go.

It had hardly been a few minutes since I got home, but I got started on my plans. I wanted to get all this progress down on paper, who knows how long it would last! I was in cruise control; nothing around me was affecting me. I started reading articles about depression, reasoning that prior to the trip- it was depression that had made me feel like a total loser. It was startling to find it listed as a clinical disorder that quite often required therapeutic treatment. Being idle seemed to be the major reason of depression. Let hours pass by without any work, and depression would gladly fill in the void. I planned work throughout the day, making sure I was always on my toes. This was my second chance at a good life and I must not take it for granted.

 

With my plan in place, I began the next day at 5:30 in the morning. I had scheduled a workout regime for the next hour and started with an unseen energy guiding me. Throughout the month, I took up mini programming projects for each day and completed them. Everything that had always interested me found new attention. I dedicated 2 hours each day to learn new things; things that always fascinated me, new technologies, anything I could get my hands on. Spirituality was an aspect I had always neglected, but I spent a few minutes each day in that aspect as well in the form of meditation. Journaling, articles, and music- you name it; I was doing it all.

Sure, there were bad days. Certain days came to pass when I felt like I was going back to the pathetic form. Each time that happened, I recalled the person I could become, and silenced the voice in my head that pushed me to procrastinate. All days could not be as productive, but I made sure that I gave every ounce of energy to each day. Irrespective of the consequences, I would always end up satisfied, knowing I had done my best that day.

 

I applied to jobs religiously, sometimes even 8-10 job applications a day. My resume now glittered with my programming projects and all the hobbies I had acquired. I took my personal life to a new level as well. House chores, bills, and every bit of work I could do. I spent time with my parents each day at dinner, and they loved this new change in me. All the scornful looks from neighbors and relatives had disappeared. Either that or I was too busy to notice them.

I had some work to do on my friends circle as well. The reason they seemed to be distant to me was because I stayed aloof all the time. I was too afraid to commit to a relationship, not knowing how it would turn out. I raised my commitment to make my friendship work; I called friends frequently, met up with them on weekends and kept in touch with all the people I wanted to retain in my life. Unsurprisingly, they were shocked by this sudden change, because the progress was very slow. I stuck with the plan though. Eventually, I made some headway and my social circle was resplendent.

 

A few months passed on like this. I was feeling really fit, and happy with the way my life had veered into this path. The progress I was making was good, but I still had a career to build. The recession wave had subsided, and the industries were getting back on track. All the job applications were finally paying off. I received many interview calls, and now had the choice to pick a job I would learn to love. I had been working on my basics for a long time now with the mini projects I had taken up, and therefore, most of my interviews went well. There was a new found confidence, and the fear of failing had been vanquished.

After several job offers, I picked one which intrigued me most. EduToys was an innovative startup that specialized in study aids for schools and colleges. Toys, board games, software based aids, were some of the products used to make teaching innovative, and they were really making progress. It was the brainchild of a few imaginative minds, and recession had made entrepreneurs out of these minds teeming with ideas. I could not say what it was that drew me to this job, but I wanted to be a part of something like this. I wanted to make sure that my work would mean something more than just a mode to pay my bills. The pay was substantially low as compared to the other offers I had, but I knew that this job suited me best.

 

Fate it seems has a way of standing by the brave. EduToys emerged as one of the largest educational consultants in India, amassing contracts from institutions all over. The innovations found praise in international magazines and journals, and in no time, overseas contracts were flying in. I was as happy as I could be. I was doing good work; my management skills helped me in securing a position involving substantial decision making power, and all this within a few months of starting work. Meanwhile, I kept my schedule in line with the priorities I had made, taking good care of my health and having loads of fun, at work and outside as well.

 

Today, I’m sitting in my balcony, sipping a cup of coffee; carefree and grateful for everything that life has given me. The vermillion sun across the skyline shone one last time, like a gentleman would top his hat on taking leave. I sip on the coffee, drawing on the warmth of the cup to fill me with a sense of satisfaction. I recall that eventful meeting at the coffee shop with Ketan Dev that had transformed my life. During the past few months, I had mailed him often, telling him about the progress I had made since we last met and the work I was doing, but did not get any response. I had reasoned that he must be quite busy with work or that maybe our meeting was not as eventful to him.

There are times when a simple action could lay all your doubts to rest without a word accompanying it. Last week, a parcel for me was delivered at work; there was no sender address on the parcel, and I was still in two minds whether to open it. All my questions had been allayed when I opened it. It contained a pair of leather gloves, similar to the ones I had wanted to buy in Oonad that day.

As I now hold on to the empty warm coffee cup, I smile in reverence at the tide of time. A poem composes itself in my mind, and silently the words fall into place-

“The fires of time hath burnt me in its hold,

A hapless soul for Hades to devour,

But the boldest of fires temper iron into gold,

From the ashes I arose, a resilient power.”

 

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