Insight,Love; Incite,Loathe

 

It is amazing how Ekta Kapoor (Sorry if I missed an extra ‘k’ or ‘a’ or ‘o’) is able to churn episode after episode of Saas-Bahu drama and people take it all in. They may forget to ask their spouses day  at work but will not forget to discuss that last juicy bit that happened on a TV soap. BTW, have you ever wondered why it is called a ‘soap’?

Why these soaps run well should be no mystery. I mean, C’mon- Rebirth, Plastic surgery (read: Multiple), Bhagvaan’s miracles, the filmi song stuffed with bad TV actors; it is everything that James Cameron can show on a ‘Punarjanmaavataar’ movie and actually win an Oscar this time :D. However, this article is not about TV soaps, it’s something else entirely. Read on.

 

This article would probably make more sense to men, though I am hoping for some feedback from the women. Before I continue ranting, let me break this article up in the phases of the title itself.

 

Phase I : Insight

As infants, we spend a lot of time with our mothers. We begin our lives being ‘physically suggestible’, quite simply meaning we learn in these stages by touching, tasting, biting, and in my case, tearing apart things. We tend to model our behavior and patterns based on our mothers. All of us, gender unbiased. Eventually, we choose other similar role models – father, teachers, seniors, elder siblings. With increasing independence, boys tend to look upon our fathers with more respect and grant them more authority. Though boys go through a stage of disliking/hating their fathers at some point in their teens, till that stage we look upto them for insight, and likewise with other role models.

 

Phase II : Love

We almost always get here at some stage or another. School, college, parties, pre-marriage, post- marriage – irrespective of the location and the Eastman color song sequence, we get there. More often than not, we tend to pick a person quite unlike us- the old ‘Opposites attract’ theory. If you’re timid, you try to pick a confident person. Overly talkative-Quiet Listener. Free spirit-studious Class topper. And so on. Similarities exist, but cores are opposite. Psychologists have termed it as our ‘sexual personalities’. Try it on the time-tested couples around you – parents, relatives, friends.

At this phase of life, your male role model forms your viewpoint in your inexplicable attraction to a particular girl. If your model is your Dad, you will tend to be attracted to women with personalities similar to your mother.

 

Phase III: Incite

I just used this because it sounded similar to Insight and made the title much cooler. Anyway here goes. If by some weird stroke of luck, you end up marrying the woman you chose, and happen to live with your parents under the same roof, things are going to get pretty hot. Two women under the same roof with similar natures will cause a ruckus, no matter what you try to avert it. Again, the old ‘Likes repel’ theory. Each one will inadvertently incite you by presenting a viewpoint that seems logical and correct, and you end up confused. 

 

Phase IV: Loathe

The growing cracks get bigger and bigger, till Saas-Bahu are at it all the time. Meanwhile, you are turning hairless from all the tension and hair clutching!

 

 

 

 

So you see, we men are responsible for the Saas-Bahu fights in households. It may not be as common today in split households, but still holds good elsewhere. Wake up men. Before you fall in to something you can’t crawl out of, analyze the ‘would-be’ with the ‘has-been’. The ‘what-can-be' may not be all that pleasant. Fair warning aside, you will still fall there. So might as well toughen up. :D

Cheers. Or not.

 

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