Marital Rating??

I found some interesting images on the net, on the marital rating scales from 1939. Funny readup I thought. Here it is--

 

 

 

...

The Pursuit of Emptiness

 

“You can’t do it. Be realistic.”

“You really thought you could do this?”

“Stop trying and start doing.”

 

If these questions run in your head quite as often as they do in mine, we are both in war with our inner selves. A voice that resounds more clearer today than yesterday, compelling you to rethink everything you’re doing right now. A constant critique, always finding fault with what happened and what could have.

 

Sports psychology talks of people acquiring this voice in critical matches. They have labeled humans in general as having 2 personalities, termed Self-1 and Self-2, quite simply.

Self-1 is the doer. There are days when you feel yourself going about your work without a single thought or distraction in your head, when everything turns out well. Those are the days when Self-1 is strong and has taken over the task at hand.

And then, there are other days, when everything you do goes wrong. Starting with the first that went wrong, you hear your own voice criticizing you for a mistake made, a decision taken, and pretty soon, your day is a mess. That day, Self-2 has control.

 

If you ever have consciously observed yourself in either of these situations, you would have realized it by now how true this tenet from sports psychology applies to regular life as well. So how does one sub-consciously give birth to this voice anyway?

There seems to be many reasons for such a voice to start. The most major reason being criticism faced from parents/siblings/friends over events in your childhood. When we hear people talk of childhood being an impressionable age, they seem to have undermined the effects it can have on our adulthood. It is very human for us to remember the bad outcomes as opposed to the good ones (This has more to do with attitude and I will cover this sometime). It is therefore, quite natural for us to remember the times we got a bout of severe critical attack from our loved ones as opposed to the times when we were showered with affection.

The issue here being that, over a period of time our critical inner voice is a manifestation of the people who have criticized us at some tender age. Our mind subconsciously tells us that Mr. or Ms. X would have said such a thing if he/she were here, and then passes it on for your conscious mind to interpret. And as the inner voice gets stronger, our minds agreement to it gets much quicker and with lesser resistance. It is after all, in confirmation with a ‘truth’ that is in your head!

 

So how does one turn it off? Honestly, it cannot be turned off. It can be reduced though. Sports psychology suggests on players keeping their ‘eye on the ball’, and just making sure they just strike the ball every time. Of course in real life, it is quite improbable for someone to visualize a situation like a ball and strike it. Therefore, there are some simple truths which when realized will help you remember how to come back to Self-1.

1.  Realize how this voice originated, find your inner demons, your most severe critics from the past, acknowledge them and let them go.

2.  This voice has done more harm than it has ever done good, so learn to tune it out with practice.

3.  Know that it is quite natural to have this distraction and that others have voices in their heads too.

 

An inner voice can also be one that can guide us on the right path sometimes. As often as I have noticed, with myself and some friends, this voice loses strength and form over time to turn critical. Consciously listening and making suitable changes and affirmations, may eventually help us reduce the effects of Self-2. To you and me both, Good luck!

 

…