With new found time, I was able to think a little about the things that meant most to me. Somewhere in that process, there were a few questions that surfaced which force you think. So thought I might share them here-
1. Why is it that the more I read/contemplate, the less ambitious I get?
As I’ve observed, the more we read about philosophy/spirituality, the more grounded we get. As that happens, we begin to lose value for the material things in life. Everything that seemed so important and worthy a couple of years back, will begin to seem futile.
2. Will bachelors be able to avoid a mid-life crisis?
From the men I’ve observed, there is hardly any married male who is not going through/has not already gone through a mid-life crisis. There are variations in the magnitude of the crisis depending on the individual’s equanimity, but bachelors don’t seem to be affected by it. The few single men in their 40s have encountered a crisis much earlier in life, when others seem settled with families and they were not. But being younger gave a better chance of dealing with the crisis as opposed to the married ones who dealt with it at an older age. This could just be a few exceptions from the norm, but it does seem like a pertinent question.
3. Will we raise kids who will make a name for us in history or will we make history worth remembrance by our kids?
In the movie ‘I.Q.’, Meg Ryan plays Einstein’s fictional niece, Catherine Boyd, who believes that her contribution to the world would be through her children. As far-fetched as that may sound, it still seems to be a question one could ask. Is that why people seek intelligent partners? So their progeny may be smarter? Funny if it turns out to be true.
4. What foundations are we building – for change or for growth or both?
When the Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon, he said he had prepared for the battle from ever since he was in school. The foundations laid then, he says, aided him to defeat the man who set out to conquer the world. When some radical idea changes our mind, we believe it was an instant of illumination that did it, but really, our minds were being conditioned for this change through multitudes of experiences. However, when we grow as individuals – either personally or professionally, our growth is again conditioned by the foundations laid by our experiences and lessons registered in the mind.
5. Why are moral development theories skewed?
Harvard psychologist, Carol Gilligan points out in her groundbreaking book ‘In a Different Voice’, that moral development theories propounded so far have mostly been based on men. Recall the theories that you can recall. Somehow, every theory/case on morality seems to be associated with some man/group of men. Her theory makes sense too – women probably reason with morality quite differently from how men do.
6. How much do parents affect a kid’s growth as an individual?
In the book ‘The Nurture Assumption’, Judith Rich Harris put forward a theory on behavioral genetics that parents do not mold their children beyond the parental genetic contribution. The biggest socializers of their children are their peers, according to her. I would question that on both children raised in insecure households and in introvert kids, but overall the theory makes sense. It also brings to mind the many times you parents asked you to keep good company!
7. Why is the TV an idiot box?
This question really is the depth of my joblessness! But I seem to have found an interesting answer. It simplifies reality. When you look at a character/role on TV being shown as an evil, manipulative person, we buy it. We do not need to process it deeply. Whereas in the real world, people do not go about giving evil looks in slow motion – we need to use multiple inputs to judge people. By making it simple to process information, we are skipping critical analysis that our brains perform otherwise. This explains why watching TV relaxes – you can switch off for hours together without requiring to process the information conveyed.
8. How different are the parental instincts of animals and birds with respect to humans?
Come to think of it, animals and birds only fend for their young ones for short intervals. Perhaps if a ratio of the nursing period to life expectancy was calculated for other species Vs. humans, nearly equal ratios could come up. However, it still seems like a short period in terms of absolute time. They are trained to take care of themselves from an early age, at least from the stage when they can process their food themselves. This puts early survival instincts in these species. In humans, we are cared for almost till our late 20s in our country and early 20s in other countries! The learning curve is much more gradual for us to pick up survival skills and complex situation handling. The longer time period may have to do with the complex structure of our upbringing and the enigmatic way humans operate in the world.
Well, these questions seemed important to me right now. I hope to make this a regular series every two months or so – ergo the Part 1 in the title. Let me know what you think of these questions and if you have any to add to the list.
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