Gen Next?

 

 

We are a miserable generation. A generation of confused, battered souls that prides itself with the devices that have come to dictate our lives. A generation that wants more and expects more but is not willing to work for it. A generation that takes pride in the national anthem when its sung but will not bat an eyelid as they fill numerous applications to study and settle abroad. "I'll come back. I want to do something for my country". These words were said at least for sentiment at some point of time. Now even that sentiment is missing. We cuss at the country that provided 20+ years of life and move away as if it were just another dysfunctional relationship. The generation that looks at the recent Cadbury's Ad and goes "aww..I want that" without putting the effort to get there and maintain a relationship.

 

 

Our generation that thinks that trying hard is uncool,that it should look like it came without effort. The fact that info is just a few clicks away makes us take knowledge for granted. That ‘being’ means much more than just ‘doing’. We say we live life unplugged but are bound by unseen wires to the very technology that lets us live unplugged. We know we can take tech for granted because it is not going to stay the same. But we do not take a moment to appreciate the world around us, because we are too busy multitasking. Or at least the twisted version of it. True multitasking is productive. Checking mails, FB, SMS during work is not multitasking, its just being distracted! We've all done it and continue doing it each day..

Recall the last time you thanked someone for something they did. Not a customary 'thanks', but genuinely meant it within you. I challenge you to recall more than 5 in the past month, or two. We are not only ungrateful, we're also more selfish. The world expects us to be. Each day Darwin and his theories bear light as we struggle in the survival of the fittest.. And in the course of this struggle, we end up becoming selfish. Fending for ourselves becomes our primary instinct.

We're not progressing, we're retrogressing. Not only in clothing, but in manners, in application, we are increasingly going backward towards the era of the Cro-Magnon man. Survival has begun to mean more than co-existence. Evolution hasn't done much mentally for us. Sure we've made some tech advances, made touch screens, speakers that blow one's ears (literally), sent dogs and men into outer space and so on..but have our minds evolved, really? We just have shifted our focus. And all that is seemingly human; that which binds us to other humans, is taking a back seat. Even chivalry, which was ordained as a highly valued virtue has become a laughable issue.

Motivation theories were in fear of people becoming more profit driven and less purpose driven. And yet, the problem today is that we're highly purpose driven to making more profit, for us. That money has become a blinding higher purpose. Among the ones who have worked, you must have made a faint commitment to making someone's life better when you start earning. Ask only yourselves, have you?

Its high time they stop calling us anything like the generation that will lead us to the next century. If anything, we're only taking it back.

Awake now.. Before its too late..

 

…

Smitten – Part 3 : The Intro

 

 

Sam had approached the week with some gusto. A week had passed and he kept hoping that she would turn up at least once. To his ill-fated mornings, she never turned up. At least, not in the same bus ever again.

“Maybe she was visiting the city. You know? Maybe she doesn’t work here after all” said Ranil, hoping to assure him.

“At 8 in the morning, which girl would roam about Bangalore if she didn’t have to go to work?” retorted Sam.

He was right, thought Ranil. He wouldn’t normally expect Sam to work his mind this quickly but here he was, pointing out the flaw in his logic.

“You’re right. Look, it’s a Friday. She might come on a Monday, you can never say. Infinite possibilities…” said Ranil.

“Is that your company’s tagline? Infinite possibilities? Really?” asked Sam, whimsically.

“Ok, forget that. You are coming to the play tonight right. Don’t make excuses like the last time and stay at home. This will be good for you. You might find a new dream girl there, you know?” he said, nudging Sam.

Sam looked up and gave an empty stare. Ranil shook his head and looked out the window non-chalantly.

All of the week, Sam had spent in misery. Love does that, doesn’t it? It eats you up little by little each day, and the more you try to regain a normal state, the more you slip away from what currently was. Normal suddenly doesn’t seem so normal once you’ve seen what you can be. Quicksand - that should have been a synonym for love. Somehow no one else had quite felt this way to call love that, he thought to himself.

That evening, Sam dragged his feet to get to the play. His friends awaited him at the reception. They greeted each other and awaited the usher to let the people enter. Sam behaved as normal as he could be, only Ranil knowing his sordid plight, and only partially.

A burst of giggles was heard a few feet away from where they stood. A group of friends, mostly girls, were sharing an old joke and laughing about it. Sam looked up at the crowd. It’s nice to share a joke in a group, he thought. He quickly surveyed the group. A thin guy in a muscle tee, a girl who constantly kept playing with her hair, a girl in blue rimmed spectacles…

“That’s her!” screamed Sam.

Unmindful of the crowd around him, he had let out a loud, excited yell. Ranil walked upto him. People gave him a quizzical look and went about their business as usual.

“The bus girl? Where is she?” he asked.

“There. In that group. The one wearing the blue specs” he exclaimed, still unable to hold his enthusiasm down.

“Her?” asked Ranil “Are you sure it’s her?”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure. That’s her alright. Same glasses, same smile, same laughter. It’s her, no doubt” he said.

Ranil smiled. He walked up to the group now. Sam froze as he stood.

“What is he doing? I thought I was the mad one!” he muttered, but stood still, hoping for the least embarrassment this situation could lend.

A few minutes later, Ranil seemed to be making some progress, because they seemed to be talking to him normally. No screaming, no anger, no slaps. Yet.

After a few more minutes, Ranil beckoned to Sam to come to them. Sam tried his best to play cool and waved back, indicating it was alright and he was going to stay right there. Comfortable, and unhurt.

Ranil beckoned a second time, and this time, Sam didn’t see any sense standing and making an ass of himself there. He might as well do it there in front of her. So he mustered his courage and walked up to where they were standing. His eyes were planted firmly on her, but kept shifting focus to avoid looking like a creep. After what seemed like an eternity, he reached the group.

“Guys, this is Samarth, also known as Sam. And Sam, this is my friend Nikki and her gang. I’m sorry I can’t remember all your names” he joked, as the whole group smiled at Sam. “Let me try anyway, this is…”

Sam muttered a seemingly warm “Hi” to everyone in the group as Ranil did his best to remember their names and introduce them, albeit in a coarse voice, dry from anticipation.

“And this is Neena. Neena joined work at Bangalore a few days back” he said as he finally introduced the only person in the group that mattered.

“Hello” said Sam, shaking her hands.

“Hi” she said.

A short pause. And the rest, as they say is as history would write it.

…

Dreams, and their weird power of changing us.

Smitten – Part 2 : The Dreamer

 

 

All of yesterday, Sam had spent his time pondering over those few minutes on the bus. He kept wondering when he would see her next and if he would see her at all. He counted the hours into the day, and work suffered as a result. He didn’t care.

It wasn’t surprising though, that the next morning he arrived at the stop much before Ranil did. Impeccably dressed, neatly combed and suave, both in attitude and style. It wasn’t unlike how he dressed every day, but somehow he seemed to be a man on a mission today.

“So, all set to meet her again today, eh?” asked Ranil mischievously, as he arrived at the stop.

“See, this is why I shouldn’t tell you things. You’re the one who says pessimism is overrated. I’m showing some optimism for the first time, is that so wrong?” Sam blurted.

“You still have to work on your mood though” retorted Ranil,”can’t expect to charm her with a tone like that”

“I’m sorry dude. I’m on edge today, really. I know you’ve seen me at my worst, but trust me, today I’m in a different zone. I really hope I see her today” said Sam.

“You plan to approach her and talk to her??” asked a surprised Ranil. He had known Sam for so many years, it seemed very unlikely that Sam would go up to a girl and make conversation.

“I’m hoping I will. But you know I can get” he said.

Ranil smiled. Yep, he knew.

“Here’s the bus now. Good luck buddy boy” said Ranil, walking upto the bus.

Sam took a deep breath and followed suit. He got in at the center door behind Ranil, and hurried up the steps to where Ranil was standing.

For a good minute, Sam looked at everyone in the bus, trying to see if she was there. He kept playing back the memories of the day before, hoping that they aid him remembering her.

“Do you see her?” he asked Ranil.

“See her?” Ranil asked with a quizzical look, “I didn’t even see the girl yesterday. If it wasn’t for your confession on the way back, I’d not have even known about it“

“Utter waste you are!” he muttered to Ranil, moving from side to side, trying to see if she was there. Today his luck had run out on him.

“Maybe she took another bus. It is a public bus. It’s not like she goes by the same bus everyday like we do” reassured Ranil.

“That’s what we’re doing wrong!” exclaimed Sam. “We must start traveling in different buses from now. All in the same direction but different bus numbers. That should do it, I should be able to see her then”

“Whoa Romeo! Relax. You have a better chance of meeting her if you stick to one bus, trust me” said Ranil.

He had a point there. It made more sense once he thought of it. Besides, Ranil was an ace at statistics. It is quite unlikely that he was wrong about these things.

Assured about the plan for the next month or so, Sam still was restless. At every traffic signal, he peeked out the window as any bus pulled up by the side, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of her.

“Would you stop it? They’ll ban us from public buses if you behave like this” mocked Ranil.

“Yes, yes. I just don’t know how I can get through the day without seeing her” sighed Sam.

“You’re nuts! You get through it just like you did the day before you met her. You whine through the day, work your ass off and get back to the room and whine some more. Nothing has changed. Stop making a big deal of it” said Ranil, now getting a little irritated with Sam.

“It’s like a reflection in the water dude. When its calm, it’s all the same, unchanged. But once a pebble falls in, the whole surface is disturbed. Ripple effect, you know?” said Sam, almost philosophically.

Ranil fell silent. He had known Sam for a long time now. Always a dreamer, and always restless, Sam lived in a world that very few others seemed to understand. It was why he always struggled with the commonalities of the world around him. He could never remain bogged down by them. Smiling at his friend, and the understanding that their friendship had brought to each other’s lives, Ranil was silent for the rest of the journey. He knew that Sam had now crossed the point of return.

 

…

(To be contd.)

Smitten – Part 1

 

 

“Here we are again” he muttered to himself, waiting at the bus stop.

Another day, another morning in this city. Samarth was in his usual blues, inside and outside.

“Why do they call it Monday blues anyway?” he asked Ranil, who patiently waited for his ride. “It’s not like it gets any better on a Wednesday!”

“OK, firstly calm down. It’s just a bunch of people waiting for a bus. And why are you so grumpy so early in the day?” asked Ranil, in his trademark calm manner.

“Why?? Are you really asking me why I’m grumpy?” blurted Samarth. “The same reason all of these people are. The same sick jobs, the same routines, the same bus routes. Everyone is sick of it. A bus comes in, and a chasm opens in a squeal and dozens of people get off. And a dozen more get in. And it squeals and gets moving again, a hundred times each and every day. They all hate it.”

“No Sam, I think you’re speaking about yourself. Relax, the bus is here” Ranil says, as he walks towards it.

Sam follows suit after a shrug. There’s not much one can do about it anyway. It seems to be the same everywhere, he assured himself. The bus starts to move before Sam could get on board. To avoid missing it, he gets in through the front door instead of the center like Ranil did.

“Late again, Sir?” the driver quipped.

“Yes Uncle”, he smiled weakly and headed towards when Ranil was standing. The driver smirked, not taking the ‘Uncle’ comment too well.

“He knows I’m usually late? The bus driver? Of a public bus? How routine has my life become?” he muttered, and stumbled towards the center.

As he walks through, a light perfume titillated his senses. He couldn’t look at the face, but he managed to see that she was wearing an orange chudidar.

“You’ll never change, will you?” smiled Ranil, as he placed a hand over Sam’s shoulder.

Sam wasn’t listening. He was trying to see the girl that he had just passed.

“Orange, orange… Orange!” he exclaimed as he saw her.

Dressed in a simple orange hued chudidar, she was holding the overhead handle grip that all buses seem to have. A maroon-watch strap adorned an adequately fair hand, that was partly covering her face. She was wearing glasses, not very thick rimmed but enough to notice that they were a regular pair. Light blue and quite unlike any frame he had seen before. Unique design, he thought. Her eyes lit up now and then as she spoke, and he could see her eyes smile when her companion said something funny. Even from across this space and despite his morning blues, he could have argued that they were the most gorgeous pair of eyes he’d seen in a long time.

She lowered her hand to gesture to her friend about something. Sam gasped in awe as he saw her now. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he had seen. But there is a charm that some women exude that is quite incomparable to any beauty, ever. She was that and more. Simple, classy, exuberant and charming, he could go on in his rant describing her in his head. Ranil was talking to Sam all this while but not one word had gone through.

“In the most unlikely of places, one finds inspiration” he said out loud, forgetting where he was.

“Sam, what’s the matter with you?” said Ranil as he tugged at his hand.

“What?”

“You’re weirder than usual today dude. Is everything ok?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. They just got better” he said, and smiled at Ranil.

“Ok, good. Our stop is the next one. Stop daydreaming for some time”

“I’m getting down this early?” he thought in a mix of surprise and anxiety. Every morning, he would spend the drabbest 30 mins of his day on this journey to the office. And yet today, it seemed to have gone by in a flash.

A train of thoughts ran through his head now. How will I remember her when I see her the next time? Her glasses, never seen anything like it. Her smile; and that laughter that seemed to have been sponsored by the who’s-who of the Indian Dental Association, perfect in every way. He knew he couldn’t forget her for quite some time.

‘Will she remember me? Has she even seen me?’ he wondered.

But the time for questions was done. The bus screeched to a halt. Ranil tugged at his arm to get down as Sam reluctantly alighted the bus. He kept looking through the large, lightly-tinted windows to see her again. She was still busy in conversation with her friend.

 

…

(To be contd.)

8 Questions – Part 1

 

With new found time, I was able to think a little about the things that meant most to me. Somewhere in that process, there were a few questions that surfaced which force you think. So thought I might share them here-

1. Why is it that the more I read/contemplate, the less ambitious I get?

   As I’ve observed, the more we read about philosophy/spirituality, the more grounded we get. As that happens, we begin to lose value for the material things in life. Everything that seemed so important and worthy a couple of years back, will begin to seem futile.

2. Will bachelors be able to avoid a mid-life crisis?

   From the men I’ve observed, there is hardly any married male who is not going through/has not already gone through a mid-life crisis. There are variations in the magnitude of the crisis depending on the individual’s equanimity, but bachelors don’t seem to be affected by it. The few single men in their 40s have encountered a crisis much earlier in life, when others seem settled with families and they were not. But being younger gave a better chance of dealing with the crisis as opposed to the married ones who dealt with it at an older age. This could just be a few exceptions from the norm, but it does seem like a pertinent question.

3. Will we raise kids who will make a name for us in history or will we make history worth remembrance by our kids?

   In the movie ‘I.Q.’, Meg Ryan plays Einstein’s fictional niece, Catherine Boyd, who believes that her contribution to the world would be through her children. As far-fetched as that may sound, it still seems to be a question one could ask. Is that why people seek intelligent partners? So their progeny may be smarter? Funny if it turns out to be true.

4. What foundations are we building – for change or for growth or both?

   When the Duke of Wellington defeated Napoleon, he said he had prepared for the battle from ever since he was in school. The foundations laid then, he says, aided him to defeat the man who set out to conquer the world. When some radical idea changes our mind, we  believe it was an instant of illumination that did it, but really, our minds were being conditioned for this change through multitudes of experiences. However, when we grow as individuals – either personally or professionally, our growth is again conditioned by the foundations laid by our experiences and lessons registered in the mind.

5. Why are moral development theories skewed?

    Harvard psychologist, Carol Gilligan points out in her groundbreaking book ‘In a Different Voice’, that moral development theories propounded so far have mostly been based on men. Recall the theories that you can recall. Somehow, every theory/case on morality seems to be associated with some man/group of men. Her theory makes sense too – women probably reason with morality quite differently from how men do.

6. How much do parents affect a kid’s growth as an individual?

   In the book ‘The Nurture Assumption’, Judith Rich Harris put forward a theory on behavioral genetics that parents do not mold their children beyond the parental genetic contribution. The biggest socializers of their children are their peers, according to her. I would question that on both children raised in insecure households and  in introvert kids, but overall the theory makes sense. It also brings to mind the many times you parents asked you to keep good company!

7. Why is the TV an idiot box?

   This question really is the depth of my joblessness! But I seem to have found an interesting answer. It simplifies reality. When you look at a character/role on TV being shown as an evil, manipulative person, we buy it. We do not need to process it deeply. Whereas in the real world, people do not go about giving evil looks in slow motion – we need to use multiple inputs to judge people. By making it simple to process information, we are skipping critical analysis that our brains perform otherwise. This explains why watching TV relaxes – you can switch off for hours together without requiring to process the information conveyed.

8. How different are the parental instincts of animals and birds with respect to humans?

   Come to think of it, animals and birds only fend for their young ones for short intervals. Perhaps if a ratio of the nursing period to life expectancy was calculated for other species Vs. humans, nearly equal ratios could come up. However, it still seems like a short period in terms of absolute time. They are trained to take care of themselves from an early age, at least from the stage when they can process their food themselves. This puts early survival instincts in these species. In humans, we are cared for almost till our late 20s in our country and early 20s in other countries! The learning curve is much more gradual for us to pick up survival skills and complex situation handling. The longer time period may have to do with the complex structure of our upbringing and the enigmatic way humans operate in the world.

Well, these questions seemed important to me right now. I hope to make this a regular series every two months or so – ergo the Part 1 in the title. Let me know what you think of these questions and if you have any to add to the list.

…